An open letter to people who are struggling today...
Our dogs get caught in the crossfire of our lives.
We move. We get sick. We get sad. We break up. We get tired. We lose the people and animals we’d never want to live without.
In those times, we just can’t be who we want to be for the ones we love.
And the funny thing, is that there is often a stark contrast between what we wish for and what we get.
Where are those Disney dogs who lie at our feet and nurture us back to emotional health with their boundless loyalty and tender intuition?
More often than not, when we are weak, our little furry monsters rear their disobedient heads and come for us with a vengeance that feels impossible to muster the energy to counter.
Sure, they’ve been crated more than usual. Less walks. Whatever.
Here’s the thing: When we aren’t feeling up to our normal emotional capacity, we also aren’t making clear boundaries or upholding the confident, steady structure needed… even for ourselves.
We may be feeling defeated, irritable, unstable, exhausted. For our dogs, this lack of clarity and assertiveness is like a gateway drug to all of that crap behavior that drives us nuts.
Simply put: They take advantage.
All of those compulsive/anxious/pushy/disrespectful behaviors we work hard to change, creep back.
For all of you who are feeling the guilt, the frustration, the burden… I offer you this:
Your dog can wait. You’re not fucking everything up.
If all you can do is nothing, do that.
If all you can do is not projectile project your bullshit onto your dog, that’s really good, too.
Just pick up where you left off as soon as you can. And in the meantime, allow yourself the space to go through the trials and tribulations of your life.
When you’re ready, take the reins back, and put the pieces back together.
You might find that putting your dog back on track is exactly the boost you need to put everything else back on track, too. And in that moment, it will heal you.
When your dog can offer you easy companionship in your peaceful solitude and reprieve, take it. When your dog is what you need solitude and reprieve from, leave it.
What’s important is that you know a reset button exists. The backslide is temporary. As soon as you choose to put things in place, you can and will.
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